Do you spend a lot of time thinking about how you wish your life was better?
The truth is that most people do.
They think that people have it so much better than they do.
I know I can personally attest to this. Many years ago, I closed my Facebook account and shut the world out because I was so consumed with looking at other people’s lives and comparing myself to them. I saw so many people I grew up with were getting married, having beautiful children, and looking glamorous, but I wasn’t. I wanted all of those things in my life too, but they weren’t happening for me. The end result was that I felt really bad about myself. I felt like there must be something wrong with me. After many years feeling like crap every time I logged in, I decided the best decision was for me to completely walk away.
And it was years before I felt good enough about myself to log back on.
So what happened in the interim years?
I developed a Four Part Self-Love Practice that I will be sharing with you in the next few blog posts.
The first part of this practice was with shifting my focus towards a “Gifts and Gratitude” mindset.
Here’s what I learned:
A BIG reason for why I felt so bad before was because I was so caught up in what I thought my life SHOULD be, that I couldn’t see and appreciate my life for what it actually was. And I spent so much mental energy in the gap between what I had and what I thought I should have that I was miserable.
But in hindsight, I know that at least 2 things are true that I hadn’t realized before:
- EVERYBODY has their own particular challenges, so just because things look so great on the outside doesn’t mean everything is perfect on the inside.
- There is always someone looking at your situation right now and feeling envious about something in your life.
These 2 things let me know that instead of getting stuck in a never-ending cycle of feeling sorry for myself and drowning in comparison, I needed to shift my focus to identifying the talents, gifts, strengths that I do have and showing my gratitude for them regularly.
Because, here’s the thing: if I am always focused on what I don’t have, I never get to appreciate all the wonderful things that I do have. And not appreciating my gifts is a surefire recipe for feeling bad about myself.
So here’s what I want you to do right now:
I want you to publicly name your gifts and talents. In the comment section three things about yourself that you are grateful for right now in this very moment.
We need to start a movement of beautiful women who are proud of their strengths and talents and not focused on what they do not have.
This is where self-love begins.