What do you do when you feel jealous?
A few months ago I rushed onto a train because I was running late to work.
I made it just in time before the doors closed. As I sat down panting to catch my breath, I became aware of an absolutely stunning woman sitting across from me.
She was very beautiful and meticulously groomed. Her makeup was flawless and expertly applied. Then I looked at her manicured nails and at how well dressed she was. Her clothes were flattering, sophisticated and she had an elegant yet edginess quality to her. Her natural hair was neat, yet fun and free. She was very refined unhurried and was typing away on her iPhone and it looked like she was sending out work emails.
I was flustered after running from my home in clothes that I had thrown on to go to a job that I did not like very much. This woman looked like she had all the time in the world and appeared to be happily doing work related tasks. We looked to be about the same age and yet we seemed to be worlds apart in that moment. I think that she felt me staring at her because she looked up from her phone and met my gaze. She smiled kindly and turned her attention back to her phone.
Now, I know better than to get caught up in the self-hating exercise of comparing myself to her and the foolishness of thinking that her life was better than mine. But in that moment, I must admit to feeling a little intimidated by her. And if I’m being completely honest with myself, I was a little jealous.
As I continued to think about it while I sat on the train, I realized that I was so affected by the presence of this woman because she was a living reminder of some of my most pressing goals: 1. step up my self-care and appearance, 2. cultivate an aura of calm sophistication, 3. be in a position to enjoy my full time work again. She was the living, breathing embodying of some of these goals and in that moment, all of my goals seemed so far away from me.
Jealousy comes up when you are not meeting your goals. Jealousy is a clear sign that you need to be more focused on your goals. Stop letting yourself off the hook. This woman looked the way she did because she has a desire (a goal) to look the way she did and made sure that her actions matched up with her desires. She had the dedication and standards to look for her wardrobe. This woman made sure to wake up and get herself together in enough time so that she was not a rushing mess like I was.
By the time I got off the train, I was even more inspired to recommit to my goals. I let that moment of feeling jealous inspire me and push me in the direction of my goals.
Here are 3 ways to allow the green-eyed monster of jealousy to push you in the direction of your goals:
When you are feel jealous, notice what is triggering you
I noticed how certain aspects of this woman triggered me but others didn’t. What triggers you? Is it seeing travel photos? Hearing about other people’s financial success? Seeing people in healthy happy relationships? What is it that triggers you? The triggers are the things that you want the most. You can’t achieve it if you don’t know what it is.
When you feel jealous, recommit to your goals
And be honest about the type and amount of work that you will have to do get your goals accomplished. The work may be psychological, physical, financial, etc. Be honest about the scope and nature of the work. Then commit to it and go for it. Give yourself a fixed amount of time and accomplish one thing you one step closer to what you want.
When you feel Jealous, use Positive Self-Talk
Do not discourage yourself with negative self-talk. Commit to talking to yourself in a positive way. You are not wrong for wanting what you want. And it is absolutely possible for you to have what you want. Do not tell yourself otherwise. Just because it has not happened for you yet, does not mean that it won’t happen in the future. Tell yourself that your time is coming and that you are willing to do the work necessary to obtain your goal.
Ok, Abundance Seeker, do you have moments in which you feel jealous? Does it inspire you? Or discouraged?