The End of the Road?: How to know when to walk away

This poster hangs in my home office and serves as a constant reminder that each moment in my life is precious. And because each moment is precious, I try my best to only do the things that bring satisfaction, joy, and add to the fullness of my life. To do anything less, is to sell my self short.

At some point, each one of us thinks about walking away from something. Maybe a job. A partner. A friend. Maybe even an opportunity or a way of life. And we struggle with the decision because it’s hard to know if the benefits outweigh all of the problems and frustrations that make us want to leave in the first place. And sometimes, if we are really honest with ourselves, we know that the only thing that keeps us in situations that we’ve grown tired of is the fear of change and the unknown. But the truth is that, you will have to walk away from some things eventually because if you are committed to your growth and evolution, you will undoubtedly outgrow situations and people. Things that once felt good, will no longer serve your needs in the way they used to. And sometimes we cling so tightly to the idea of something that we deny the reality of what’s right in front of us staring us in the face. Knowing when to leave is never easy, but this is what I want to you to know: Getting the life you want takes effort and attention.  You must be dedicated to making that life happen and not sit idly by or stew in frustration when things happen in your life.  In other words, no more blaming your unhappiness on bad bosses, or bad relationships, or bad friendships that go on for years and years. Instead, work on getting the friends, the partner and employment that you want. Here’s what to do when you’re not sure whether you should walk away: Read More

“The grass is greener” and other lies we tell ourselves

Grass-Is-Greener-Where-You-Water-It
Is the grass really greener on the other side?

Sometimes it seems as if everybody in the world, or at least those in our immediate circle, are doing so much better than us. These people seem to have fulfilling relationships, better jobs, well behaved attractive kids, more money, better looking bodies, etc. All you have to do is log into Facebook and be bombarded with everyone’s successes. And if not success, it certainly feels like everybody else is having so much more fun than we are. After viewing endless pics of new and/or seemingly wonderful relationships, posts about new jobs, and social events, it’s easy to log out feeling unhappy about your lot in life. Read More

Why don’t you get a hobby!

Though we all have different levels of obligations, we each have some degree of free time to manage. Sometimes we let our free time slip through our fingers without really noticing. We spend too many hours watching TV or on social media. We hang out with uninteresting people out of sheer boredom. We engage in unhealthy activity just to fill up the time.

But if we are bit more purposeful and intentional with our time, we can get much more out of it.  In a lot of ways, time is like money. We spend so much of our limited resources on obligations and frivolous things, but we should also remember to save and invest a little for ourselves. Read More

The Nitty Grit(ty): How to Persevere

ALI KNOCKOUT

 

Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get up— Chinese Proverb

What is Grit? No, not grits, silly. Grit.

Grit is the ability to persevere when things don’t seem to be going your way.  It’s being able to keep showing up in spite of difficulties while in pursuit of your goal.

Picture this. It’s 1974 in Zaire, central Africa.  The “Rumble in the Jungle” has been hyped and touted as the biggest match of the century and the whole world is watching. A young Muhammad Ali is backed against a rope and being pummeled by a bigger and stronger George Foreman, the reigning heavyweight champion. But after 8 rounds of intense boxing and countless punches to the body, Ali somehow ends up towering over a knocked out Foreman in defiant victory. Ali perseveres and wins. This is grit. Being able to endure in the face of what feels like insurmountable challenges and obstacles. Read More