Clear Out Your Inner Junk Drawer

Let it go(1)

Do you have a junk drawer?

A lot of people do.

It’s the place in the home where you can put any and everything that doesn’t seem to really have a place of its own. Things like extra condiment packets, old batteries, tape, pencils, scissors, take out menus, tools, etc.

And because the junk drawer is so great at storing things, you can kind of forget all the stuff that’s in there. And the irony is when you actually need something that’s in it, you can’t find it. Years can go by without clearing it out and before you know it, you have all this useless little stuff that you never use, just taking up space in your home and being an eyesore. Read More

Self-Love Begins with A “Gifts and Gratitude” Mindset

Gifts and Gratitude

Do you spend a lot of time thinking about how you wish your life was better?

The truth is that most people do.

They think that people have it so much better than they do.

I know I can personally attest to this. Many years ago, I closed my Facebook account and shut the world out because I was so consumed with looking at other people’s lives and comparing myself to them. I saw so many people I grew up with were getting married, having beautiful children, and looking glamorous, but I wasn’t. I wanted all of those things in my life too, but they weren’t happening for me. The end result was that I felt really bad about myself. I felt like there must be something wrong with me. After many years feeling like crap every time I logged in, I decided the best decision was for me to completely walk away. Read More

Self-Love Manifesto

Self-Love Manifesto
Click on image to see enlarged version.

I believe in the power of self-love.

Because EVERYTHING begins with the relationship we have with ourselves. And when that relationship is rooted in uncompromising love, there are no limits to what we can accomplish.

Self-Love is the ability to see your own value as a human being.

Self-Love encourages you to set healthy relationship boundaries that prevent other people from treating you badly. And it’s through self-love that we can stop sabotaging ourselves. Self-love is believing in your own worthiness enough to say what you need and go after what you really want. Read More

The Backlash from ‘Formation’ and What It Means for Black Women’s Mental Health

Beyonce Formation

Everyone knows how much I loves me some Beyonce.

So last week when she dropped a unexpected new single with a video, performed in front of the whole country during the superbowl half-time show, AND announced a tour that would be coming to Chicago all within a matter of 48 hours I was in awe.  It was all so… well… Beyonce.

Beyonce literally changes the game every single time she drops new music. And it is wonderful to witness.

On top of all this Beyonce magic, the song itself seems like it’s on par to become a Black girl’s national anthem. “I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros”….. ” I like my negro nose with Jackson 5 nostrils.” She said these lines surrounded by images of a drowning post-Hurricane Katrina New Orleans, Black Lives Matter movement imagery, and Black cultural tradition symbolism. Read More

How to Face Reality (Even When You Don’t Really Want To)

How To Face Reality

Sometimes life is scary. And we don’t want to face reality.

Maybe it’s your finances, or your health, your relationships, your children, or your financial situation. Maybe it’s all of these things wrapped up into one great big ole overwhelming package.

So what do we tend to do?

Avoid and ignore it. We don’t go to the doctor or balance our check books. Allow ourselves to stay in relationships even when we know we shouldn’t. We won’t face our emotional issues even as we self-sabotage. Read More

Why I Became a Therapist Part 2: Rebuilding Myself

whytherapist2(1)

In Part 1, I shared  how I was far away from home and felt really alone during my first semester at college. There were thousands of young people around me yet I felt isolated and ignored.  I was very confused and my whole world was turned upside down.

After many many days of feeling really really bad,  I decided that I just could not go on that way. Something had to change.

So I took all the courage I could  muster and went to see a student health counselor.

A therapist.

Now perhaps you, like me, grew up in a community in which people did not see therapists. And if they did, they certainly didn’t talk about it.  Seeing a counselor or therapist was essentially an admission that you were crazy or even worse weak. Read More

How to Move Past Fear and Get Busy Doing What You Want to Do

fear

A couple of days ago, I wrote a post about my thoughts on the new Shonda Rhimes book,  Year of Yes.

Her book inspired me to think about the way I could take action and improve various areas of my own life.

But what was really remarkable for me was her realization that she had slowly made herself miserable by denying herself some really awesome experiences because of fear.  Fear. Even though hard work had allowed her to reach amazing and historical professional highs, fear kept her from enjoying it. Read More

How to Invite New Energy Into Your Life: A Review of Shonda Rhimes’ “A Year of Yes”

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Anybody know what it feels like to get stuck in a rut?

I certainly do. I remember a time in which I was stuck in a rut for a very long time. Years in fact. During this time, my days looked a little bit like this: Work. School. Sleep. Repeat. Work. School. Sleep. Repeat. And so on and so on.

After so many days like that my mind started to scream to break free.  I woke up one day and felt trapped and thought to myself, “How in the world did I get here?!” And I can tell you it does not feel good. Read More

You are free, so BE free!

Freedom

I recently spent a few hours in a courtroom and watched  a judge hand down a guilty verdict.

The crime committed was severe and the defendants will be going to prison for many many years.

I’ve known one of these men for years as a close family friend. So when the sentence was handed down,  I was overcome with emotion. I thought “What a waste of a life. He has so much potential.” Now he will be in prison for longer than he has been alive.

He will sit in a cold, hard prison cell  isolated from the world, which will go on without him. His 5 children will grow up and become adults, all while their father sits behind bars in a prison hundreds of miles away from them.  In prison, this full grown adult man will be told when he can eat, shower, exercise and sleep. He will be told when and if he can speak to loved ones on the outside. Read More

Anything is Possible: How You Can Stop Self-Limiting Beliefs and Behaviors

nothingisimpossible
“Nothing is Impossible”

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Take a few minutes to really think about it. What did you want to do for a living? Where did you want to live? What kind of people did you imagine yourself to be around?

I can answer these questions really easily. Up until about the 6th grade, I wanted to be an archaeologist. I was a really nerdy kid and I loved history. I could easily spend a whole day uninterrupted in my room studying ancient civilizations all around the world. I had even managed to teach myself Egyptian hieroglyphics because I wanted to figure out the engraved writings in the textbooks meant.  I wanted to travel the world and meet exciting people, doing fascinating work, and having plenty of adventures. I was really excited about the possibilities. Read More