This is Why You Feel So Empty (And What You Can Do About it)

empty

I lay in bed crying. My head hurt from sobbing and my eyes were raw and swollen. I had been crying for hours and I was exhausted. I didn’t have the mental or physical strength to even get out of bed. I grabbed my laptop and sent out a few quick emails to all the people who expected me to show up at varying times that day and explained that I wasn’t going to be able to make it.

I was tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed.

I had so much going on. I knew I had taken on too much, and I felt stuck because I found myself with too many obligations. I was a few years into my PhD program. I was teaching a university class. I had a weekend job as a hospital social worker. And I had just opened a therapy private practice. I was tapped out. Read More

Go Deep Within

Winter

Happy New Year!

It’s freezing here in NYC.  Winter has been in full glory for the past week or so. And today, she gave us a doozy of a snow storm. The news has been calling it a “Bomb Cyclone Winter Storm” and New York and New Jersey have each declared a state of emergency.

I’ve mentioned before how much I respect the power of seasons.  I love living in a place where there are four distinct seasons because each season has its own spirit.

I think winter’s spirit is all about hibernation, healing, reflection, and planning. When the weather is like it is today, we naturally burrow into our homes and retreat into our home lives. Read More

How To Recognize Self-Sabotage

self-sabotage

I am a chronic self-saboteur.

I say that I want something and then find myself doing all sorts of things that  push that desired object further away from my grasp.

Here are just two examples. I say I want to lose weight, but I often eat way too much of foods that are bad for me. And I say I want to finish my PhD but in the past, I procrastinated for years and avoided my advisors, the very people who could help me finish. I want to be a speaker and have been meaning to sign up for public speaking classes, but have not managed to do so as of yet. Read More

Inspiration is Everywhere

Inspiration is Everwhere

Hey Abundance Seeker,

I want to talk about inspiration today and I’m gonna share a quick story.

Many years ago I dated this guy named Chris. I was a recent college grad looking forward to what I hoped would be a long and rewarding career. I hoped to be promoted often, move up in the ranks until I was the Executive Director of a governmental agency or large non-profit. My dream was to be a highly educated, well-paid executive professional.  And when I met Chris, I was just starting out on that road. Read More

Organize Your Life

organize your life

Thanksgiving is this week.  The time of year when most people think about  showing appreciation for all of their blessings.

The number one thing I am grateful for this year is my time. It is precious and irreplaceable. And I can harness it and use to my advantage in order to achieve my goals.

But time can only work to our advantage if we truly appreciate it and use it well. We use it well when we are our lives are organized and when we make space for all the important things. We also use our time well when we don’t blow it all on  unimportant tasks and people who don’t appreciate or deserve it. Read More

Five women and a Magical Pool: The Power of Retreat

I love a good retreat. No, I mean I REALLY LOVE retreats.

As a teenager, I was introduced to the concept of retreats when I participated in a   leadership program. And these were intense retreats led by corporate alumni like lawyers and business leaders whose  mission it was to foster leadership in urban teens. Retreat topics included male/female relationships, self-awareness, etc. They were brutal and beautiful at the same time, and I’m so grateful for those experiences now. These retreats were transformative experiences and helped shape my character. Read More

Big Fat Juicy Goals: 20 Things to Keep In Mind While Pursuing Your Goals

Mindshifting Goals

“I can’t believe she finished!”

I said this to myself after seeing the Instagram photos of yet another smiling, happy colleague of mine clad in her cap and gown graduating with her PhD. from our university. And this particular colleague had started after me.

My next thought was , “I need to finish this dissertation now, because I’m so over this shit.”

We all set goals. Whether its losing weight, earning more money, getting out of debt, finding a life partner, writing a book, or running a marathon.  Goals are an expression of our deepest desires. Read More

What Do You Value?

I value October
I love October

I love October and I get all into it. During the month of October, my birth month, I always make a point to be extra good to myself.  And by being good to myself, I mean making sure that I have time for the things that I value. All the things that I find important.

In a world where everything moves so quickly and things can be overwhelming and  loud, its so easy to forget the things that matter most to you. This is how I spent my glorious October honoring my values.

I Value Intellectual Stimulation

So The Street: A Novel is one of my favorite books in the world. If you’re into exploring complex sociological concepts through fiction, I definitely recommend it. I read it for the first time when I was about 16 years old. And though it resonated with me then, I didn’t get how deep it was until about 10 years ago when I reread it. My favorite types of books, are those that I can read over and over and learn something new each time or get a new angle. And it was so awesome to be in a room filled with people from all walks of life talking about something that I loved so much.  I left the auditorium feeling really good and stimulated. Intellectual stimulation is very important to me and I have to make room for it in my life or I feel unfulfilled. Read More

The Essential Guide to Starting Your Life Over, Getting Unstuck, And Getting Out of Your Own Way

Starting Over in Life

Today, I am writing this post while sitting in my very own living room in New York City. This time last year, I was living in Chicago and would not have been able to predict this at all. I wanted to move but was not exactly sure how I was going to make all the pieces fit together. All I knew was that I was starting over, no matter what.

Have you ever reached a  point in your life where you thought, “How did I get here?”

I have too. That’s where I languished mentally for about a year. Read More

Do You Know Who You Are (Really)?

Be True To Yourself

Could you love someone that you didn’t know?

My guess is that you probably could push yourself to do so. But it would be a struggle.

So since we’re creating a movement of women who are committed to loving ourselves, we must also be dedicated to knowing ourselves better. Completely. Because knowing yourself allows you to accept and love yourself.

So who are you?

No, really. Who are you?

I got some questions for you:

  • What are you into?
  • What’s your “thing”?
  • What do you believe in?
  • What’s important to you?
  • What’s not important to you?
  • When it comes down to it, what do you want your life to stand for?
  • If you knew you had 6 months to live, how would you spend your last days on earth?

Knowing who you are and what you value helps you to weed out and filter through all the “stuff” that comes your way on a daily basis. Read More