You Don’t Have to Sacrifice Yourself

As a woman, you learn how to sacrifice yourself for the benefit of other people at a very young age.

I work with ambitious and fierce women. I mean these women get things done. They raise families while pursuing degrees. My clients start businesses while being the first ones in their families ever to do so. They travel the world and put themselves “out there” in countless ways.  The women I work with are and have been doctors, nurses, actresses, comedians, school teachers, professors, financial execs, etc. In short, these ladies are capable go-getters. Read More

This is Why You Feel So Empty (And What You Can Do About it)

empty

I lay in bed crying. My head hurt from sobbing and my eyes were raw and swollen. I had been crying for hours and I was exhausted. I didn’t have the mental or physical strength to even get out of bed. I grabbed my laptop and sent out a few quick emails to all the people who expected me to show up at varying times that day and explained that I wasn’t going to be able to make it.

I was tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed.

I had so much going on. I knew I had taken on too much, and I felt stuck because I found myself with too many obligations. I was a few years into my PhD program. I was teaching a university class. I had a weekend job as a hospital social worker. And I had just opened a therapy private practice. I was tapped out. Read More

What Do You Value?

I value October
I love October

I love October and I get all into it. During the month of October, my birth month, I always make a point to be extra good to myself.  And by being good to myself, I mean making sure that I have time for the things that I value. All the things that I find important.

In a world where everything moves so quickly and things can be overwhelming and  loud, its so easy to forget the things that matter most to you. This is how I spent my glorious October honoring my values.

I Value Intellectual Stimulation

So The Street: A Novel is one of my favorite books in the world. If you’re into exploring complex sociological concepts through fiction, I definitely recommend it. I read it for the first time when I was about 16 years old. And though it resonated with me then, I didn’t get how deep it was until about 10 years ago when I reread it. My favorite types of books, are those that I can read over and over and learn something new each time or get a new angle. And it was so awesome to be in a room filled with people from all walks of life talking about something that I loved so much.  I left the auditorium feeling really good and stimulated. Intellectual stimulation is very important to me and I have to make room for it in my life or I feel unfulfilled. Read More

The Essential Guide to Starting Your Life Over, Getting Unstuck, And Getting Out of Your Own Way

Starting Over in Life

Today, I am writing this post while sitting in my very own living room in New York City. This time last year, I was living in Chicago and would not have been able to predict this at all. I wanted to move but was not exactly sure how I was going to make all the pieces fit together. All I knew was that I was starting over, no matter what.

Have you ever reached a  point in your life where you thought, “How did I get here?”

I have too. That’s where I languished mentally for about a year. Read More

No Sugar, No Flour- Day 30

nosugarnoflour

(Please note that this is an account of a personal experience and not an endorsement or recommendation of any sort. This should not be mistaken for health care advice. And I urge everyone reading this to consult their physician or registered dietitian for nutritional advice because I am neither.)

Many in my self-love challenge community know that this year my self-love practice is focused on my physical health. I want to be healthier in general and lose a considerable amount of weight in particular. Read More

Self-Care is Self-Love in Action

self-care

I want you to think of everyone that you have ever really loved. I mean everyone. Romantic relationships, family members, friends. Even pets, if you like. Everyone.

How did you show them that you loved them?

You probably showed them that you loved them, both in big and little gestures– gifts, sweet words and pet names, doing things for them, being protective, providing for them in ways they can’t provide from themselves, etc.  This is the price of love and when we love someone we usually love to be able to do these special things for them. Read More

Clear Out Your Inner Junk Drawer

Let it go(1)

Do you have a junk drawer?

A lot of people do.

It’s the place in the home where you can put any and everything that doesn’t seem to really have a place of its own. Things like extra condiment packets, old batteries, tape, pencils, scissors, take out menus, tools, etc.

And because the junk drawer is so great at storing things, you can kind of forget all the stuff that’s in there. And the irony is when you actually need something that’s in it, you can’t find it. Years can go by without clearing it out and before you know it, you have all this useless little stuff that you never use, just taking up space in your home and being an eyesore. Read More

Self-Love Manifesto

Self-Love Manifesto
Click on image to see enlarged version.

I believe in the power of self-love.

Because EVERYTHING begins with the relationship we have with ourselves. And when that relationship is rooted in uncompromising love, there are no limits to what we can accomplish.

Self-Love is the ability to see your own value as a human being.

Self-Love encourages you to set healthy relationship boundaries that prevent other people from treating you badly. And it’s through self-love that we can stop sabotaging ourselves. Self-love is believing in your own worthiness enough to say what you need and go after what you really want. Read More

The Backlash from ‘Formation’ and What It Means for Black Women’s Mental Health

Beyonce Formation

Everyone knows how much I loves me some Beyonce.

So last week when she dropped a unexpected new single with a video, performed in front of the whole country during the superbowl half-time show, AND announced a tour that would be coming to Chicago all within a matter of 48 hours I was in awe.  It was all so… well… Beyonce.

Beyonce literally changes the game every single time she drops new music. And it is wonderful to witness.

On top of all this Beyonce magic, the song itself seems like it’s on par to become a Black girl’s national anthem. “I like my baby hair with baby hair and afros”….. ” I like my negro nose with Jackson 5 nostrils.” She said these lines surrounded by images of a drowning post-Hurricane Katrina New Orleans, Black Lives Matter movement imagery, and Black cultural tradition symbolism. Read More