I am a chronic self-saboteur.
I say that I want something and then find myself doing all sorts of things that push that desired object further away from my grasp.
Here are just two examples. I say I want to lose weight, but I often eat way too much of foods that are bad for me. And I say I want to finish my PhD but in the past, I procrastinated for years and avoided my advisors, the very people who could help me finish. I want to be a speaker and have been meaning to sign up for public speaking classes, but have not managed to do so as of yet.